Advice for the Un-Married

I was browsing through the archives at YLCF and found a 2 part article by Elisabeth A. entitled, Seasons of Singleness. I thought it delivered some wise advice. Elisabeth shares her thoughts on what works and what doesn't when it comes to living out the single years:

What doesn’t work

- Only seeking God if He’ll talk to me about my love life.
- Being stoic and pretending I’m fine when I’m not.
- Using scorn (against myself or the guy) to dampen my emotions.
- Stealing attention from a guy.
- Growing my ego at another’s expense.
- Indulging my imagination in order to satisfy my self.
- Defining myself primarily as a single.
- Clinging to my choice for my life.
- Focusing on the fact that I can see no prospective husband on the horizon.
- Allowing disappointment to grow into bitterness.

What does work

- Seeking to know God as my best friend, no matter what my life looks like.
- Recognizing emotion as having an effect on my life and discussing it frankly with God.
- Growing to know and love another child of God as he truly is.
- Unselfishly praying for a guy... who may never know you are doing it. (At least not before heaven).
- Recognizing that I may not be the best for this guy, and quietly waiting for God to show me.
- Habitually countering my imagination with the truth: to Whom this guy really belongs, what our true relationship is – today – and what true love will do for him as a result.
- Defining primarily myself as God’s child, with all the blessings and responsibilities that entails.
- Continuing to toss the ball back into God’s court, every time my desires come to mind.
- Recognizing the fact that I am in miracle territory – with the Expert in miracles on my side, and folks like Isaac and Rebekah, Ruth and Boaz, or even Abraham and Sarah for company.
- Becoming expert at seeing what God has already given me (and keeps giving me daily) and thanking Him for it, while asking with childlike faith for today’s grace...and tomorrow’s dream come true.

You can read the complete article Here and Here


Edie said...

Hey Stephanie! I think this may have been a divine appointment. Was having a talk with God just this morning on this topic. Love when that happens! God Bless!

Rita Martinez said...

"This is the secret that has revolutionized my waiting: He is not waiting. He is working on my behalf right now! Why am I still waiting? Because His plan is deeper, broader and more powerful than this one aspect and this one life, and He won’t stop until all things are the way they’re supposed to be. Even if that means I need to wait."
wow Amen!

"Remember how the Bible tells us to “provoke one another to love and good works”? Well, Mary provokes me to serious preparation for the answer to my prayers!" I've thought of this before, when the marriage topic has popped up in my mind...

Thanks for the article Stephanie.

Stephanie said...

I love that too, Edie. :)

Rita, I especially like the first paragraph that you quoted. Something I need to daily remind myself of!