His Servant

The passion of Christianity comes from deliberately signing away my own rights and becoming a bondservant of Jesus Christ. - Oswald Chambers

This quote sums up both the lesson I've been learning and the struggles that I've been dealing with as of late. It's a lesson that seems to repeat itself with regularity, but God has especially been impressing it upon my heart over the past couple months. Certain verses stand out as if in bold on the pages of my Bible: Gal. 2:20, 2 Cor. 5:15, 1 Cor. 4:1, Rom. 12:1, 1 Cor 6:19-20...

Their truths are simple yet profound:

I have been bought with a price.

My life is not my own - it is Christ's.

I am to live no longer for myself, but for Him.

I am His servant.

I am to be a living sacrifice.

To an unbelieving world, I'm sure these truths would seem oppressive, dark, confusing...but then, this world does not know our King!

True freedom, real happiness is found in living for Christ...nowhere else. I've been finding my joy in loving and knowing Him, but at the same time I've come face to face with my own sinfulness - my willfulness. It is not pretty. It has been painful to face the Lord's questions - "Do you love Me? Are you willing to accept anything I choose for you? Am I alone enough right now?" - and then to feel the unworthiness of my response. So far from complete acceptance, complete trust, and yet my prayer has been that of Mark 9:24 - "I do believe; help my unbelief!"

Hebrews 12:10,11 comes to mind..."He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness"

I am far - so far- from being this submissive, trusting, willing servant, but I am thankful for the work God is doing in me to get me to that place...