Intro: A look at marriage and singleness

Next post in series

I’ve had some time to think about being single. (Actually, more time than I would prefer, but thaaat’s a rant for another day.) Specifically, what it means to be a young, unmarried, Christian woman who hopes for marriage and family someday - what this season should look like, Biblically, in all facets of daily life.

Being single, marriage and family are topics that I’ve given relatively little thought to in the past. Of course, as I grew up, I always assumed that I would get married and have a family someday, but I didn’t think much about God’s specific purposes for these
things, and little about how I should prepare for them.

Over the last couple of years though, I’ve been exposed to individuals and ministries that have provided a Biblically informed, God-centered vision of the purposes of marriage and family.

I’m thankful for what I’ve been learning, but it’s also been difficult in some ways – difficult, because I’m not married, or even in a relationship right now. I’ve had to struggle with the in-between of desiring these things, but not being there yet. And really, not knowing if I ever will be.

At times I’ve wondered if it’s better for singles not to think about marriage. Wouldn't this make it easier in the long run if we don’t receive marriage? Wouldn’t this make it easier to focus on our walk with the Lord?

True, whole-hearted devotion to Christ is required of us, but I’ve come to the conclusion that
we do need to have a Biblical understanding and vision for marriage, even as singles, and that this is not at odds with being content in our current single service to Christ.

There are probably some attitudes and ideas that need to be cleared up first. If we evaluate our own hearts, or observe the attitudes of Christian singles around us, I think we’ll find some common errors in our attitude or thoughts about marriage.

We may desire marriage, but perhaps for the wrong reasons. Failing to think about the Biblical meaning of marriage, we desire it solely because we think it will meet all of our perceived desires and needs.

Or maybe we've allowed a good desire for a good thing to turn into a demand. Marriage has become an idol, something we want now, regardless of God's perfect timing and knowledge.

Another error could be an indifferent, flippant attitude about marriage, perhaps rooted in laziness or selfishness. Rather than seeking God’s wisdom about whether we should be pursuing a marriage partner (and then being intentional about it) we could be too focused on building a career, or enjoying the “freedom” of the stage that we’re currently in.

Some of us do have a desire for a God-glorifying, Biblically patterned marriage. But…it just hasn’t happened yet, and we’re struggling. How do we live within this tension in a way that pleases Christ? How do we continue to prepare and pray towards future marriage and family, yet live with contentment and purpose now?

With all of this said, I’d like to tackle some of these issues on my blog in a series of posts.

I'll be looking at why the unmarried should have a Biblical vision for marriage, what that vision should look like, and then how we can live in a God-glorying way in this season of life, as singles.

I want to share some specific things God has been teaching me about living with these desires, but not letting them rule me – looking at things like trusting God, contentment, living purposefully, etc.

You’ll see a lot of links to articles I’ve learned from that “lay it down” much better than I can, or will be taking the time to on this blog. I’m definitely not an expert!

I won't be giving any lectures, but hope to learn along with you in this series, so any opinions, feedback or conversation would be much appreciated in the comments section. I’m also not sure who all reads this blog, so if these topics are applicable to you, or if you’re just interested in general, why not introduce yourself?


Anna said...

I'm looking forward to this series. :) Of course, I'm married now, but I still love to read/think about singleness. My husband and I just read two chapters on singleness in John Piper's book "This Momentary Marriage." They were really good - in essence, singleness AND marriage each play a unique role in God's kingdom and in displaying His glory.

Stephanie said...

Thanks for reading, Anna!

(Just a note, I re-wrote much of this post, but kept the original format so your comment would be included)

Jennifer said...

I can't wait!!! :)

Kaitlin said...

I like the re-write - I think it explains better your goal with this series! It is nice to see a blog with singleness as a focus - though I know maybe not your goal for life I think this is and will be VERY encouraging for many out there! Keep it up and may God bless you in this ministry (Until other plans come about... ;)

Edie said...

Hey Stephanie! I'm so glad you came by my blog recently! I know another Stephanie so I didn't realize it was you at first. :)

I love the series you're doing here. And I understand all too well all of the emotions, confusions and questions that go with this topic. So much I could say but I won't.

I'm not blogging much these days, not enough time so something had to give. Anyway, if you think about it, come knock on my door when you post. I would love to read what you are learning.

I hope all is well for you!

Much love to you friend!

Stephanie said...

Thanks, Jen and Kaitlin!

Edie, you are welcome to share some of those thoughts during this series. Thanks for stopping by again, and for your encouragement.